I met a Nigerian guy online, I’m an African American girl

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I met a Nigerian guy on a online Christian dating site, I’m an African American female.

I been talking to him for almost a year.He came to US on a tourist visa, but let it expire. He works full-time for some Mexican company that pays him under the table.

He has living quarters with one other Nigerian guy. We share the same religious beliefs.  He says he loves me and wants to marry me. He was married in Nigeria before he came to US and had 2 kids back there.

Should I trust him? He been in US now for 2 years. What you think?

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rachel.phillips 3 months 12 Answers 69 views 0

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    Love is trust, if you love him, you might consider him but there has to be a discussion between you too and Also an agreement as to what you want from the relationship

    Also ensure that whatever you have with him is legal, that will give you some level of security in the marriage.

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      He came over on a tourist visa. But it has since expired. He has been able to get a temporary driver’s license to drive legally for 3 years. But that’s all I know. I like him alot but we have never met in person. Because he says his TDL is restricted to the state he resides in.

       

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    Relationship matters are always sensitive.

    We are advised to only get serious with people that we know and trust, I get that sometimes love happens without obeying protocols but it is necessary that we tread cautiously in order to avoid heart breaks.

    If you really want to date him and eventually marry him I suppose it is only ideal that you go out on real dates and get to know each other better.

    It is usually after series of dates that you could make serious life time commitment.

    I read lots of story about African American women that are dating Nigerian guys. Most times it doesn’t turn out right, sometimes it does. The pointers are always there from the beginning but the women always choose to ignore them and then worry later.

    So make plans to meet him and really talk, if it is possible.

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    Thank you Anan. I appreciate your sincere advice. I will tread cautiously. It’s a bit difficult for us to date because we live in two different states too. I’m an old fashioned kinda girl. I don’t believe in pursuing a man. He wants me to visit him first because his TDL is restricted to his residency. But I believe if you really like a woman you do whatever is necessary to get her. I mention the train. He wants to stay with me when he comes but I don’t know him that well.so he won’t come. But if it’s meant to be it will be. If not then I’m okay with that too.

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    Best advice, meet with him in person, before you talk about trust. You need to see him and know him better.

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    If you really love him, then meet him and discuss things with him.
    However, I wouldn’t advice you get serious with any man with baggage. Especially one that is not yet divorced properly, he has kids and a wife back here in Nigeria and will definitely come back to them maybe after getting his papers… So have some good long face to face conversation.

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    Thank you Ugwani. I will meet with him.

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    Thank you for that great advice EVa.

    I asked him if he has proof of his divorce.(paperwork). He said, yes.

    He also told me the other day he wants his 3 kids to come to US. I asked what about their mom? Won’t the children miss her? He said, yes. But he has been missing them too since he has been here in the U.S for the last 2 years. He says the children are not happy their with their mom and he doesn’t like what he is hearing. Plus he sends money to Nigeria to help pay for their school expenses. But if they come to America their education would be free. I ask to see his divorce papers and we could get counseling first before even dating.

    I need to be more sure of this situation

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    If really you say you love him and you share the same faith, The best you could do is to advice him about moving back to his wife in Nigeria and taking care of his family. Because the faith you share is against polygamy.

    Meanwhile if he is so eager to get married few years after breaking up with the other family, there is a tendency that he may leave you again in future after putting you in the family way.

    So if u say u really love him let him go and advice him to take care of the family he already has…

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    Well thank you Flint. I appreciate all your kind advice. But he claims his ex- wife was abusive towards him that’s why he fleed to the U.S. I don’t know I wasn’t there. I can’t ask for proof on it..like ask him to let me see some scars. Lol although he did show me a scar or two. I think the best thing for him to do is to get legal. I’m not marrying a illegal immigrant because just like you said he can marry me then get his citizenship. Later divorce me and bring his wife and kids here I look like the fool.

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      Yes , that’s a wise choice. First, he has to be a legal citizen. take out time to court him and ask questions first. Don’t rush into marriage if you don’t know anything about him. And also, you pray to our heavenly father asking him of his will to be done in that relationship… If you are the church type.

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    Men loves with their heads? Women loves with their hearts?

    I believe your situation is a peculiar one and u just really need to love and trust him but notwithstanding u need to know about his past and ask the question is he the one for me.

    Lastly my dear sister, like a popular song in the early 2000’s says ‘Take it slow’ or u might rush in and rush out.

     

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